By Johnson Ehi
This is an important question the society is asking recently as this immoral activity is on the rise. Marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured as most partners do in the matrimony. When you see a couple laughing outside trying to impress the public and you wish your home is just as theirs, all that glitters are not gold. There might be lot going on in the marriage that you have not decided to find out. You might just wake up in the morning and you are told that the couples you see the other day got divorced and your mouth is wide opened because you can’t believe such news.
Many men cheat on their wives for the following reasons:
1. Nagging wife: most men who are married are supposed to be happy. Though no marriage is free from problem but when the pressure from wife is becoming unbearable, you see most men seeking refuges outside. Most men find peace when they are at work or with their friends, there is a grip of fear holding them when its time for them to go home because their wives do not give them the relaxation they needed. Its quarrel of one sorts or the other. When in this period they find a woman who behaves otherwise, they tend to stay with that woman just to have a bit of smile and happiness before it gets to the period when they will be beaten up at home
2. Time of Discussion: As a woman, you have to understand your man that he must have been stressed in the office, when he gets back, you have to give him a cup of coffee, let him take his bath, and sometimes even sit to listen to news. The best way to discuss with your husbandis in bed. When both of you are discussing on bed, you bring in what happened today or you asking for something in a polite manner with your hand on his chest rubbing it up and down and interval kisses. Why will your husband shout at you when you do this? Most men got pressure from the office and their welcome tea is problem or problem of the previous day from the wife. If a man finds woman who relax him outside, then the woman must have lost her home.
3. Foolishness/imitation: this is the problem of the man. Most men involve in this behavior because he wants to belong to a group. That is, he must have had some group of friends who are discussing their girlfriend issue before them. Imitation is born from the fact that they want to do same thing their friends are doing. Some men have a single man as a friend who have different girlfriends and when the girl is coming for a dinner or lunch, she comes with one of her friend and coincidently, a married man is there looking well dress and handsome. What do you expect? Most girls of nowadays are looking for a home, they don’t care if you are having a wife or not, and they will want to behave better than your wife, kind words, always telling you how you look positively, and be supportive in many ways. When the man compares this girlfriend with his wife, he prefers to have the girlfriend as a wife forgetting the fact that every new relationship is a honey. Some men want to be on a chart if you know what I mean. They just want to do something to move with the trend. Its foolishness. They have no reason to go out there, their wives is just acting maturely and very supporting but they are out there hunting like a predator. It seems like it’s in some men’s blood. They can’t do without having a secrete affair. That is their system, which is part of them. They are addicted. If a woman falls into the hands of this kind of man, then there is nothing she can do to please him or take him from outside because the he was born on the street and still want to remain on the street.
4. Societal problem: the recent way of the society is causing a lot of chaos for the men, fashion is the key. Most women are coming out in a way that the men get confused, asking themselves if they made mistake in getting married on time. I know of a man who got married and after one week, he travelled to a certain environment, seeing the girls and their method of dressing there, so beautiful and presentable, he started thinking if he has made the right choice. Lust is the major problem here. The way the girls are dressing these days is complete bait. They are dressing for the men to see, I mean both married and single men. With make ups and miniskirts, it takes the grace of God to actually see those things and turn your eyes away. Don’t comment on this area.
5. Fashion: Most married women got that problem of dressing. They just dress unattractive. Your husband is having blood running through his vein. How do you make someone hungry when he is not hungry? Is to prepare a delicious means what will make your husband see reasons not to eat outside. Most married women dress like old women. Have you heard of this deeper life religion? No makeup, no little fashion to garnish or tempt their husband. Such husband can easily be tempted outside. There was a man In Nigeria who had to shout at his wife because the wife is always putting on rapper covering just her chest. That was a nice man for telling his wife because other men wouldn’t. They will take alternative outside. A woman have to appeal her man, you have to drag him home because there is always something new outside. How much will it cost a wife if she dresses the way her husband wants? Actually, how much?
6. Third party influence: most men cheat on their wife because some friends or family told them to do so. Most family particularly African family would always encourage their children to marry more than one wife. It’s the tradition there or most of the tradition. A tradition that allows the man to marry more than one wife and deprive the woman from having a boyfriend outside marital home. When a man is not full-fledged, then he is not ready to get married or he should not get married. A man who takes order from his parents should not be married. A child should be feeding from the parents and not standing. That is one of the problems. When you are advice to steal and you decided to steal as u r told, you didn’t steal because you were advice to; you stole because it was in your mind to do so. If a man loves his wife, no matter the third party comment or advice, he should learn to stick to his mind and his decisions.
7. Time: most executive women who are so occupied working trying to make money are those who by their hands put fire in their peaceful home, when they get back from office, they feel so tired and denying the man of his right. Most men hate to be denied of their matrimonial rights, its like an insult to them. No matter how busy a woman might be, she must create room for her home. This keeps the family together. Using words like “can’t you see I am tired”, “ pleaseleave me alone I am very tired” “ I am not in the mood right now, I have been working since morning”, “ this is all you know, your mate are out there working and yours is to make sure u kill me after I work my ass off at work”. Most women use sex as a weapon to punish their stubborn husband. That is outrageous. Are you helping the issue? If you use a particular punishment off and on for a child, you are training that child because at a time, he or she is never going to be afraid of it. Search for another weapon or discuss your anger with your husband without punishing him with sex. What do you expect from him when you keep him off his duty and someone else is ready to give him back his job?
Hardly can you see men of these days who are not involved in this act. Irrespective of their religions, the pastor can even have brethren as his girl friend outside his marital home, its lust and dissatisfaction that is causing the major problems.
A man should learn to guide his wife on what he wants, tell her what you like and let her adjust. If a woman is lucky enough to have a man who do tell her what he desires in his marriage home and decided to do otherwise, then she has bluntly send her husband out to the hands of the wolf. And she should not cry when the man goes and never returns.
You can send your view why you think men cheat on their wives. Keep watching, the opposite version of this topic will soon be published.