By Johnson Ehi
If you are reading this blog, it means you have encountered this predicament or you can share what you have read to your friends who are in similar situations.
When does marriage become a wrestling home? When does relationship become about who is right and wrong?
Nuptial is a court, a group, a team and many more. Relationship starts with fun; you remember how you started the relationship with your partner, telling your friends and families how wonderful he or she is? Do you remember how both of you used to walk, talk and eat dinner out or have some nice fun? Do you remember how you used to ignore some certain things your partner does at the beginning of the relationships?
Many relationships crumbled because of familiarity in the marriage. Most couples no longer do what they use to do at the beginning. They have allowed old age and familiarity to affect their relationships. It is good to always remind your partner on how you started the fun part and not always the fighting part.
Most men believe that shouting at their wives or girlfriends is the best way of communication. There are some stubborn women who do not listen to their husbands. I think that is out of foolishness but shouting is not the best way of communication in such situation. It is always good to clear the problem but not on a high tune, this sometimes leads to real fight as the man beat up his woman out of uncontrollable anger? If this is what you did before deciding to stay together, would you have ever agreed on the journey? Anger is a temporary madness that can destroy so many things in few seconds if not properly controlled.
Living together is the most difficult thing two people can think of. When you are dating a man from distance, like coming to visit him or her once in a week, there is tolerance as you do not know much of this person’s attitude, at the beginning both parties are trying to put up an attitude to impress each other. When you stay together, it’s a different issue. For God sake! Do you expect someone to always act right? NO! Loving someone is accepting the person the way they are. And in another way, loving someone means changing some certain attitudes just to put up with them.
Remember, two partners were born by different parents, grew up in different area and where influenced by their surroundings. That is, both of them have different attitudes because our environments and parents influence the attitudes some of us are portraying our lives today. If you know this, why do you want to kill yourself?
There are some certain rules to live with your partner. To live with a man and be happy, him a little and understand him a lot. And to live with a woman and be happy, love her a lot and don’t bother to understand her. Understanding women is the most difficult thing to do. Remember, a community where everyone is happy, no sickness, no fight, no hunger, no fluctuation in income, no enemies, no liars and thieves, that community is an abnormal community. Something is wrong somewhere because that is not human environment. No home is free from trouble, no family is free from misunderstanding and why are you taking yours so differently? You want to tell everything to your friend who his or her home is free from trouble? Love is the key here. Fighting or misunderstandings can be discussed and settled in low tune. The best way to address issues is in the bed. Let your partner finish eating, when the time is right; calmly discuss the problem instead of shouting sometimes in presence of the kids.
Some men even go as far as hitting their wives. NO! Such man is a coward, an unreasonable man who is not worth to be a husband. You don’t expect everyone to act the same daily. Do you want your wife or husband to act to please you everyday? It is also good sometimes to show the bad side of your attitude to your partners otherwise you don’t know who truly love you for whom you are.
It’s an ignominy that you took mere misapprehension to become something very big and almost leading to your divorce. Shame on you! This same issue you could settle amicably with your partner without third party hearing it. Yes some men or women attitudes are unbearable. Did you noticed this when you were in love? Did you notice this when you agreed to marry him or stay with him or her? How did you tolerate him then? What are you missing right now in your marriage?
Man, honour your wife and wife honour your husband. Find out what annoy your partner and try not to do it. Do not blow the whistle or ask your friends if you are right or wrong, if you are wrong, apologize, and if you are right, just shut up! Two people can’t be angry at the same time. And never forget to remind each other how you started, sharing ice cream and feeding each other. It has to be resumed. And as for men and women who are older than their partner, the moment you decide to show your nakedness to your partner, you become age mates. Tolerance is the key.
Haven’t said this, it does not mean women shouldn’t do what they are suppose to do. There can’t be two captains in one ship and as such, women should come down for their men. And men, do not over exercise your power. It has to be 100/100 mutual respect. A relationship where partners contribute 50/50 percent is missing something. What happened to the other 50/50 percent? Think about that and do what you have to do to keep up. Anyhow you look at it, loneliness is a disease and if you are a woman who does not care to calm down rather, jumping from one man to another, it’s a pity the life that you choose. And if you are the man who is doing same, you can’t lead this country none you are irresponsible for not being able to lead your home.
If you see any grammar when reading this blog, I am sorry, I tried to avoid them but at times it’s the best word to describe what you are trying to express. Share t his blog to reach greater part of the people. Thanks for sharing